Hook Up Culture
The topic of hooking up is an interesting choice for a Bible blog, but my opinion on it is going to be wildly unpopular with today's world, specifically in my generation (Gen Z). Not only do I think hook-up culture is detrimental to any future marital relationship, but I also believe it affects other aspects of our world. For example, society would be one thousand percent better if pornography weren’t so popular. The rise of porn consumption/addiction, the emphasis on sleeping with whoever you want to, and casual sexual relationship depictions in nearly every mainstream storytelling avenue, all correlate with how the everyday human will value sex.
Saving yourself for marriage is maybe one of the hardest, but most beautiful things to do. If you are susceptible to peer pressure, it's entirely too challenging, and you almost start to truly care after it's too late. “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” – Hebrews 13:4. Not only does God want us to wait until marriage, He expects it. These days, only approximately ten percent wait, and if I had to guess, that would be a generous number. I don’t say these things to condemn you if you didn’t or haven’t been practicing purity in this way. I say them because it’s important to see what God wants for us. God wouldn’t expect us to wait if it didn’t matter either way what we do. “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18. The effects of sex outside of marriage are linked to higher rates of divorce, attachment (some people refer to this as a soul tie), and regular low self-esteem, depression, plus more. God doesn’t command this of us because He doesn’t want us to have any fun. He commands it because waiting is truly in our best interest.
“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.” – Psalm 1:1-2. We can increasingly see how often society, whether it be pop culture, Hollywood, or even politics, promotes ideas that completely go against what the Word of God says. The sexual revolution of the 60's really pioneered the way culture views relationships. There aren't wholesome relationships in romcoms or on TV anymore. There is soft porn in popular films these days, which not only reinforces damaging norms but also gives teens and young adults a skewed narrative of what love should look like.
Along with the rise of oversexualization on our mainstream screens, there are also unfortunate statistics regarding specifically sought-after pornographic content. Roughly 40 million Americans watch porn; again, I’m assuming this is generously low compared to how many really watch it. I don’t feel that I really need to point out the obvious detriments of this category of content. Some interesting facts that correlate to porn consumption: 78% of men who watch it feel unsatisfied with their appearance, and about 60% report feeling lonely. As we all know, adult movies are not real life. People are acting, there are scripts, lighting, angles, and they do not portray the covenantal gift of sex that God blessed a husband and wife with. There are even studies that prove that watching porn causes you to be a lower-performing individual. All in all, pornography is overwhelmingly negative for people, and I urge you to avoid watching it.
Again, I don’t want to sound preachy or as if I’m standing on a soapbox. I truly believe that hook-up culture has sucked in so many Christians under false pretenses of what is 'normal.' When it’s considered weird, scary even to wait until marriage, you know it's a problem. God’s design for us and for marriage is so special, and the gift of sex in marriage is something we open too early. I pray this leads you to consider repentance and abstinence if that’s where you are. I pray you see the true joy and love that blossoms when you decide to wait.
God bless you. xo
